Man Who Clicked ‘Accept All Cookies’ in 2009 Now Owned by 4,000 Websites

BOISE, ID — A 47-year-old man who clicked “Accept All Cookies” on a recipe blog in March 2009 is now the legal property of 4,012 websites, according to a custody ruling handed down Tuesday by the Ada County Family Court.

Under the agreement, Pinterest gets Garrett Plinkman every other weekend, Wayfair has supervised visits on Tuesdays, and a 2,000-word banana bread blog called Crumbs & Grace was awarded the house.

“I just wanted the recipe,” Plinkman told reporters outside the courthouse, while a weather site he does not remember visiting held his elbow. “It was right there under the lady’s story about her grandmother’s farm. I scrolled for 11 minutes. I would’ve clicked anything.”

Court records show the cookie banner listed 4,012 “trusted partners,” including 38 mattress companies, a payday lender and something called DataHarbor Bermuda, which now claims Plinkman as a dependent.

Judge Marlene Tosswell said the original agreement was ironclad. “He had the choice to click ‘Manage Preferences’ and spend 45 minutes unchecking boxes,” she said. “No man has ever done that. We can’t start now.”

Plinkman’s ex-wife, Denise, said the arrangement has been hard on the kids. “He still comes to their games, but now he shows up with ads for the same lawn mower he looked at in 2014,” she said.

The ruling also gives a coupon site final say over his fantasy football team.

At the time of writing, Plinkman had gone back to Crumbs & Grace to visit his old house, and accepted all cookies again.