Squirrel Raiding Same Bird Feeder Since 2019 Files for Unemployment After Upgrade

HENDERSONVILLE, NC — A gray squirrel who raided the same backyard bird feeder every day since 2019 filed for unemployment Monday after the homeowner installed a $79 squirrel-proof cage feeder, ending what the squirrel’s paperwork describes as “six years of continuous service.”

The squirrel, known on the street as Chester, was let go without notice when retired pharmacist Lorraine Puckett, 67, hung the new feeder on Saturday morning. “Nobody sat down with him,” said Chester’s caseworker. “He found out when he hit the cage at full speed.”

Chester has since sent Puckett a written demand for severance of four pounds of black oil sunflower seed per year worked, plus continued access to the suet through the end of the quarter.

His LinkedIn profile now shows a green “Open to Work” frame and lists skills including “acrobatics,” “stakeholder evasion,” and “breaking into anything under $60.” He has received two messages, both from a recruiter for a bakery’s dumpster.

The North Carolina workforce office assigned him to a retraining program for displaced backyard wildlife. “We try to move them into growth fields,” said job counselor Bernard Fleshwick, 58. “Attics. Pumpkins. One chipmunk is doing very well in patio furniture cushions.”

Puckett said she feels bad but stands by the decision. “The cardinals were paying for that seed,” she said. “Chester was eating 90 percent of it.”

Reached for comment Thursday, Chester was sitting on the deck rail next to the new feeder, holding a cardboard sign and staring at the cardinals, who had all been promoted.