Poll: 41% of Americans Would Rather Be Mid-Drill at the Dentist Than on This Call

Missoula, MT — Forty-one percent of Americans would rather be in a dentist’s chair mid-drill than on the work call they are currently on, according to a poll released Tuesday by the Hollerbach Institute for Workplace Endurance.

The survey, conducted entirely during a recurring 9:30 “quick sync,” found that 19% would prefer the DMV line, citing “similar wait times, better odds of leaving with something.” Another 14% chose a nine-week jury trial, noting that “at least someone takes notes, and it matters.”

“We asked respondents to be honest,” said lead pollster Marjorie Fennimore-Glum, 52. “Most of them were already honest. They just had their cameras off.”

Eleven percent volunteered to be stuck in an elevator with whoever scheduled the call, which several described as “finally a chance to talk.” Eight percent said they would rather be on hold with the IRS, praising the hold music as “more structured than the agenda.”

Only 3% said they wanted to be on this call. Researchers later confirmed all 3% were the host.

The poll’s margin of error could not be calculated, because the statistician was on mute. Fennimore-Glum said one participant, account manager Trent Velasquez-Doolittle, 38, has not unmuted since last Tuesday and has been dialed in from what appears to be a beach in Cabo San Lucas.

“He’s our most engaged attendee,” she said. “He’s never once interrupted.”

Current indications suggest the meeting has been extended 15 minutes so the host can “circle back on the poll results,” and 100% of respondents have already turned their cameras off.