Reel
Engineer Claims Traffic Lights Turn Red On Purpose When You're Running Late
· 57 sec
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A Houston software engineer says traffic lights know when you're running late. The city says that's ridiculous. He has been at a red light since Tuesday.
Transcript
Traffic lights can tell when you're running late, and they turn red on purpose.
That's the claim of Houston software engineer Stefan Unbelodemeister, who says every light in the city is run by robots. We reached him by phone.
On screenIn 350 ft, light turns red · Westheimer Rd · Arriving 8:47 AM (late)
Stefan Unbelodemeister: When I'm early it's green the whole way in, and the one morning, as soon as I'm running late. Every single light, and I mean every light turns red. [sigh] [pause] Don't tell me that's a coincidence.
The city's signal office says the lights run on timers and nothing else. Its reply to Stefan's complaint was stamped denied, and asked him to drive safely and stop thinking about it.
On screenCity Signal Timing Office · Citizen Complaint Review · SIG-2207 · Complaint · Lights turn red when I'm late · Finding · Coincidence · Lights aware of you · No · Please drive safely and stop thinking about it. · DENIED
A deputy director said the lights cannot read minds, then wiped his forehead and left through a side door.
Stefan says the camera above each light reads your stress, and the only cure is to truly believe you're not late.
On screenSIGNAL CAM 14 · 07:58:12 AM · OCT 27 2026
Stefan is now four days late, and he is still at the same red light.
Satire. Everything in this reel is made up for comedy.
