Reel
Ranked: The 5 Most Desperate Political Texts You Got This Week
· 1 min 2 sec
The Rankings, No. 3: Election week means a phone that won't stop buzzing. We ranked the five most desperate political texts going around right now.
Transcript
Americans received about two billion political texts this month. We ranked the five most desperate.
Number five. The final notice.
It was the final notice. Then the final final notice. Then the absolute final notice. Then one that just said, please.
🚨 FINAL NOTICE: We need you by MIDNIGHT
FINAL FINAL NOTICE 🚨🚨
Absolute final notice. We mean it this time.
please
Number four. Kevin.
One man replied STOP. The campaign took it as a request for a more personal relationship. Kevin now texts him from three numbers.
STOP
We hear you! 🙏 Removing you from the list.
Hey it's Kevin! 😊 Not a list. Just a real person who cares.
Kevin again. New number. Did you get my last text?
Number three. Biscuit.
This candidate knows your dog's name, his vet appointments, and where you ate Tuesday. His campaign says it's not a threat. It's a newsletter.
Hi Derek! It's Hal Brickman 🇺🇸 Haven't seen your donation yet.
Also, Biscuit is due for his rabies shot on the 4th.
Enjoy the Applebee's 👀
Number two. The match.
Three dollars, matched 600 percent. Then 4,000. By Thursday, a three dollar donation was being matched by a medium-sized country.
Chip in $3 and we'll MATCH IT 600%!!
UPDATE: now matched 4,000% 🔥
Your $3 is now matched by the nation of Portugal. This is not a typo.
And number one. Mom.
No campaign sent more texts this year than your mother. Experts say her opt-out policy is the harshest in the industry.
Did you vote yet
Your father voted.
Your cousin Brittany voted and she can't spell restaurant
Paid for by Mom. Reply STOP to leave the family.
Satire. Everything in this reel is made up for comedy.
