Wednesday edition · October 28, 2026Independent satire for an increasingly plausible world
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Reel

Retired Carriage Horse Still Reporting For Work, Investigators Say

· 54 sec

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Case File : Retired Carriage Horse Still Reporting For Work, Investigators Say

Transcript

New York has banned its horse-drawn carriages after 160 years, over safety and abuse concerns.

Dutch, age fourteen, was retired to a farm upstate.

He did not stay there.

The next morning, a camera on 59th Street caught a horse waiting alone at the empty stand. It was 6:52 AM.

On screenCENTRAL PARK S - CAM 3 · MON · 06:52:14

The farm is three hours away. He has not missed a nine o'clock shift.

The farm's owner, Odessa Prill, added a second latch. The paddock was empty anyway, and the hay was eaten.

On screenPRILL FARM · Gate Log · Week 1 · Mon 5:40 AM · Latched. Empty. · Tue 5:38 AM · Latched. Empty. · Wed 5:41 AM · Second latch added. Empty. · Thu 5:36 AM · Both latched. Empty. Hay eaten. · Gate has not been opened by anyone. · STILL LATCHED

On Thursday, a curb officer wrote him a citation for operating without a carriage. The fine was sixty-five dollars.

On screenCentral Park South Curb Authority · Citation · Time · Thu 9:04 AM · Location · Central Park S at 6th Ave · Operator · Dutch (horse) · Vehicle · None · Violation · Operating without a carriage · $65.00 · Was first in line.

Dutch declined to comment.

On Tuesday, he came back to the farm with a tourist.

Satire. Everything in this reel is made up for comedy.

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