White House Releases Results of the Election Trump Would Have Won: 435–0

WASHINGTON — The White House on Wednesday released official results from the version of Tuesday’s midterm election in which President Donald Trump was on the ballot, showing Republicans winning all 435 House seats, every Senate race and, according to a footnote, a county drainage commission in Iowa that was not up for election.

The release followed the president’s Truth Social post Tuesday night that he “wasn’t on the Ballot and if I was, we would have won IN A LANDSLIDE!” In the election that took place, Democrats won both chambers of Congress and flipped seven Senate seats, including Kansas and Texas.

“These are certified hypothetical results,” said Corwin Pettibrew-Snell, 46, director of the newly created White House Office of Elections That Could Have Happened. “Every vote that wasn’t cast was counted. Turnout was 112%, which is the highest turnout we’ve ever imagined.”

The 40-page report, printed entirely in red, has Texas Gov. Greg Abbott winning by 41 points because he never became “a RINO in the last six months,” the president’s explanation for Abbott’s real loss to Democrat Gina Hinojosa.

The report has already been reviewed by the president in his new role as a political pundit, a career he announced at 11:38 p.m. Tuesday. The review was glowing. The pundit and the candidate declined to be interviewed separately.

Asked whether the administration would also accept the results of the election that actually happened, Pettibrew-Snell noted that the president had told The New York Times he was “absolutely willing to accept” them. “He’ll accept both,” he said. “Only one of them is a landslide.”

Democrats requested a recount Wednesday morning. The office granted it within minutes, noting that the ballots are being stored in the same place as the election.