Finns Say Hacked Supermarket Freezers Set To 50°C Still Too Cold For Proper Sauna

KUHMO, Finland — Hours after hackers remotely cranked supermarket freezers across seven European countries up to 50 degrees Celsius, Finnish shoppers confirmed Monday that the heat was “a nice start” but nowhere near warm enough for a proper sauna.

“Fifty degrees is what my grandmother called leaving the door open,” said Veikko Lämpötila, 67, who arrived at his neighborhood grocery at 7 a.m. with a towel, a birch whisk and a wooden bucket for the frozen pizza case. “I threw two ladles on the fish sticks. Barely any steam. Very disappointing attack.”

Retailers in Belgium, Sweden, Ireland, Estonia, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and Finland reported that their refrigeration systems had been switched to defrost mode overnight, a development European officials called a catastrophic loss of frozen goods and Finnish customers called “a lukewarm bench.”

Store manager Kaisa Pakastinen said roughly 40 customers formed an orderly, silent line in the ice cream aisle before opening. “Nobody bought anything,” she said. “Two men sat on the chest freezer for an hour without speaking. Then one of them rolled in the parking lot snow and went home. It was the most normal Monday we’ve had all year.”

Sami Kiuas, chairman of the volunteer-run National Committee for Correct Heat, condemned the hackers for what he called “dangerous half-measures.”

“If you are going to seize control of critical infrastructure, commit to 90,” Kiuas said. “At 50 you are not a cybercriminal. You are a Swede.”

Reached for comment late Monday, Lämpötila said he had dropped a note in the store’s suggestion box asking the hackers to “please try again tonight, but properly,” and had already reserved the frozen peas for Tuesday.