Wednesday edition · October 28, 2026Independent satire for an increasingly plausible world
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Reel

Stargazer Reports Neighbor's Motion Light to Meteor Society

· 48 sec

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Transcript

The Orionid meteor shower peaks overnight tonight. NASA says to lie flat and give your eyes thirty minutes to adjust.

Gary Holcomb, fifty-eight, of Dayton, Ohio, lay down in his backyard at ten-thirty.

Thirty minutes in, he reported his neighbor's motion light. Twice.

His log lists two planes, one porch light, and the motion light, at eleven and again at eleven-twenty.

On screenSighting Log: G. Holcomb · 10:38 PM · Plane · 10:44 PM · Plane · 10:51 PM · Porch light (not moving) · 11:00 PM · Motion light · 11:20 PM · Motion light, again

The Southwest Ohio Meteor Registry has catalogued it: zero miles per hour, ninety seconds, returning every twenty minutes.

On screenSouthwest Ohio Meteor Registry · Sighting Report · SOMR-2026-1100 · Object · Motion light · Location · Neighbor's garage · Speed · 0 mph · Duration · 90 seconds · Period · Every 20 minutes · Parent body · Raccoon · Observer requests naming rights. · CATALOGUED

The Orionids come from Halley's Comet. This one comes from a raccoon.

The motion light has been named Gary-1, and is expected again at 11:40.

Satire. Everything in this reel is made up for comedy.

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