Wednesday edition · October 28, 2026Independent satire for an increasingly plausible world
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Italian Air Traffic Control Asks Whole Country to Try Turning It Off and On Again

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Transcript

Flights across Italy were delayed Friday after an air traffic control fault, and officials rushed to say no hackers were involved, which passengers found somehow worse.

By mid-morning, the departures board had moved on to new options.

Engineers followed the official recovery procedure: unplug the entire peninsula, count to thirty, and plug it back in firmly.

On screenENAV NETWORK RECOVERY PROTOCOL · STEP 1 OF 1 · Unplug the entire peninsula, count to thirty, and plug it back in firmly. If the problem persists, check Sardinia.

While the country rebooted, controllers switched to the backup system: one man on the roof with two orange paddles.

The outage was later traced to a router in Bologna that someone unplugged to charge their phone.

It was at four percent.

Satire. Everything in this reel is made up for comedy.

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