Reel
State University Sends Abandoned-Cart Email For Nursing Degree
· 1 min 1 sec
As colleges compete for fewer students, one state university is trying online shopping tactics. A Wisconsin woman says she only wanted a basketball schedule.
Transcript
A 54-year-old Kenosha woman has been told she left a nursing degree in her online cart.
Bernadette Riske says she only visited Marlow Ridge State University's website to check a basketball schedule in March.
With students scarce, some college admissions offices are trying to sound friendlier and less intimidating. Marlow Ridge chose retail.
The first email offered 10% off a B.S. in Nursing if she enrolled before dinner. It added, "Customers who bought this degree also bought: a minor in Spanish."
On screenMarlow Ridge Admissions <hello@marlowridge.edu> · Bernadette Riske · Still thinking it over? · 6:12 PM · Still thinking it over? Take 10% off your B.S. in Nursing if you enroll today. Customers who bought this degree also bought: a minor in Spanish. · 10% off your B.S. in Nursing
By the next morning, her phone warned that there were only three seats left in Organic Chemistry.
On screen8:04 AM · Nov. 3 · Marlow Ridge · Only 3 seats left in Organic Chemistry · 17 people are viewing this lab section. · now
Dean Norah Pelikan called the messages friendly outreach, not pressure, then assigned Bernadette a roommate.
On screenMarlow Ridge State University · Friendly Admissions Office · Admissions Hall, Marlow Ridge, Wisconsin · Nov. 3 · Bernadette Riske · Welcome-ish to Marlow Hall. Your roommate is Kaylee M., 18, who has asked whether you own an air fryer. Please bring twin XL sheets and any transcripts you may remember. · Dean Norah Pelikan
Bernadette called to say she does not want a degree, which the university logged as demonstrated interest.
Bernadette still hasn't clicked anything. The college says her diploma ships in four to six years.
Satire. Everything in this reel is made up for comedy.
