Man Applies to FBI, Gets Rejection Email From the Hackers Who Stole His Résumé

Springfield, IL — Local man Derek P. Cluehorn said he applied for an entry-level FBI analyst job last week and received a polite rejection Monday — not from the bureau, but from the hackers who stole his application.

“They said my background was ‘fine but not mysterious enough,’” Cluehorn, 34, told reporters outside a Dunkin’. “I spent three hours on that essay about why I want to serve. Apparently they prefer candidates who already have a cool alias.”

The FBI is investigating claims by the cybercrime group ShinyHunters that it breached systems tied to FBIJobs.gov and took sensitive data on employees and applicants. Cluehorn said the message arrived from an address that “looked official if you squinted,” thanked him for choosing a “career in public service or adjacent hobbies,” and ranked his file “Priority: Maybe Later.”

Cybersecurity consultant Wanda Packetloss, who studies breach etiquette, said the rejection is consistent with modern hacker customer service. “They’re just doing what HR does, only faster and with cooler logos,” she said. “At least they replied.”

Cluehorn has not heard from the FBI. He is keeping the hacker email in a folder labeled “Networking.”

At publishing time, Cluehorn said he had applied again using a more mysterious middle initial and was waiting to see who rejected him next.