Judge Pulls $20M Trump Ads; Stations Fill Slots With Mattress Guy in a Crown

DUBUQUE, IA — Local TV stations across the country scrambled Monday to fill millions of dollars in suddenly empty airtime after a federal judge ordered the Department of Homeland Security to cancel the rest of its $20 million taxpayer-funded ad campaign starring President Donald Trump, with most of the slots going to regional mattress warehouses.

“We had 30 seconds of patriotic eagle footage booked for Sunday night and about four hours’ notice,” said KDBQ traffic manager Lorna Overbook, 51. “Mattress Mike was the only guy who picked up. He was already in a costume.”

U.S. District Judge Jennifer L. Rochon’s restraining order came after the ads had run nationally for two weeks, leaving viewers mid-campaign with no closure. Many reported dozing off during a stirring montage about the enduring American spirit and waking up to a man in a crown screaming that every queen-size must go.

“Honestly, the tone barely changed,” said viewer Dale Pemberton, 63, of Cedar Falls. “Both of them said it was the greatest deal in the history of the country. Only one of them had financing.”

Station executives said the swap had also simplified billing. “Before, nobody could tell us who was paying,” Overbook said. “Now it’s Mike. Mike pays in cash and a free pillow.”

Media analysts estimate that the leftover airtime has been absorbed by 1,400 mattress stores, 300 personal injury lawyers and one Ohio car dealership that has already shot a spot where an eagle lands on a Chevy Silverado.

Reached for comment late Monday, Mattress Mike said he was “honored to serve” and confirmed his next ad would be paid for entirely with his own money, “which apparently is now a selling point.”