Los Angeles, CA – A nine year old tan chihuahua that has been barking nonstop for eight years straight has recently been discovered by the US government to be deployed to countries as a weapon.
The owner of the 5 pound pup seems to be relieved as a large weight has been lifted off her shoulder.
“Chaco has been barking constantly, day in and day out. It seriously messed up my sleep and quality of life,” she says. “I’m so relieved that I can relinquish him to someone or something because no one would dare take him.”
While the canine requires little to no training, the government is looking to ship him into enemy territories under the codename Operation Blackguard.
Special Agent, John Whitaker, believes they will be seeing great results as soon as the device is activated.
“We are equipping Agent Chaco a 100 foot long megaphone with a diameter of 50 feet for the cone and will face the direction of any specific target location.” he says. “The incessant barking will be around 200 dB and should travel great distances. It is also important to note that we will be using a different frequency than standard sound waves, so the enemy will not be able to use ear plugs to mask the sound,” he ensured us.
“Don’t worry, our operatives will wear protective gear to ensure the safety of operating the equipment.”
“Think of it as another form of bombardment,” he smiled.
Special Agent Whitaker is expecting the military to have the upper hand as the opposing forces will lose the ability to sleep and function normally over long periods of time.
The government has future plans to release over a thousand puppies into the battlefield to cause a distraction to the enemy. This is to ensure no one can resist the urge to put down their weapons and pet the furry canines.
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